Dawn & Dusk

A lament

Don’t tell me now
That you’ve always appreciated me
Don’t tell me now
Of the things you like about me

Now that I am no longer
Hiding my pain
Don’t belittle me
With these kind refrains

You mean you liked me
But never said
While I had all these voices
Insulting me in my head?

You say nice things now
But where were you
When I was all alone
And needed a friend to pull me through?

Where were you
When I had to wade into my pain
Dredge up past traumas
And live them again?

How come you never called
Or sent me a message
When you didn’t see me
Or noticed I was missing?

Don’t be a saint now
When the horror is already done
I know the people
Who I truly relied on

Let me hold on to
This imagined fantasy
That these years of loneliness
Had to happen to me

Please let me think
That there was no other way
That there was a reason
For all of this pain

Don’t  break my heart
Don’t fracture my soul
By saying what I needed to hear
When I was all alone