Depression
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The Vase
They put the vaseIn my hands at birthAlong with a noteOf how much it was worth When I could walkI had to place it on my headThere it had to remainNo matter what I said Everyone’s eyesSeemed to be drawn to itWhispering and watchingTo see if it would slip So I worked harderThan all the othersPushed myself to… Continue reading
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Misery’s Pit
My last few poems have talked about the importance of expressing emotions. Here’s why I have learned that I cannot stay there. Some emotions are a trap. I have found that the pit that they dig has no bottom. So I am learning that after I have felt, I evaluate. Then I let go of… Continue reading
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Black Poison
I spit black poisonOut of my mouthA venomous riverWinding its way south It’s an overflowFrom my tortured heartInjected with miseryBy events so dark They are harsher thanI truly meanBut I can’t hold backWhen I paint this scene I must let the angerThe bitterness pour outSo I can truly comprehendWhat this pain is about Then I can learnForgive when I… Continue reading
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Thimble Sized Heart
I feel the rage inside meA rolling fury of seaAn eruption of fierce stormsAnger at what could have been There is a seething, contorting massResiding in my soulA hurricane of epic proportionsA viciousness I cannot control All that angerAll of that rageIs condensed into a thimbleA small, rattling cage This tiny contraptionIs thrust into my heartHissing like a… Continue reading
Anger, Bitterness, Christ, Christian Poetry, Depression, Emotions, God, Healing, Hope, Pain, Poetry, Redemption, Trauma, Trust -
Resentment
To the sadness in my heart, I see you, I hear you. I will discern what is true but first tell me your story. Resentment, I see youI suppressed my painI lied to myselfAgain and again Pretended I was alrightMade excuses for othersBuried the seeds of hurtDeep under the covers And now you writheIn the depths of… Continue reading
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I May Exaggerate
I see my poems on depression as a way of understanding me. When I bury my feelings in the dark, I find that I am condemned to wander round in circles without knowing why. I do not see them as declarations of truth. I know the bleakness in them is a distorted image. But understanding… Continue reading
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What I Feel
For me, poetry shows a snapshot of what I feel in the moment. I am learning not to bind myself to them or define myself by them. I am learning that the true value is in digging behind the thoughts, unveiling the assumptions, hunting for the truth and plotting a way forward. On these pagesThings… Continue reading
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Dark Sun
‘The opposite of depression is not happiness. It is vitality.’ Andrew Solomom This poem about depression was inspired by the film Tenet and the above quote by Andrew Solomon. A lament I see cold stars In dark skies Their blue light No warmth provides A black sun rises Radiant dark Light flees into cracks Night… Continue reading
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The Painful Choice
This poem talks of one of the challenges I have faced in recovering from depression. I am learning that we have to open up to safe people to heal. And though healing hurts, staying wounded hurts even more A lament What will I suffer for? For what will I bear this pain? The trauma inside… Continue reading
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The Tightrope
Do what you love To break yourself free But if I do too much My mind cracks beneath me It’s a balancing act Edging across a tightrope But I have no balancing bar So how can I have any hope? I am left to struggle To find the answers on my own But whichever way… Continue reading
Dawn & Dusk 