Dawn & Dusk

I have learned during my recovery from depression that it is a journey of learning – learning how to manage emotions, deal with past traumas and about yourself. I have had to learn to move forward with a flexible approach.

This poem details my frustration after trying to take a rigid approach and my journey to letting go of this.

I am fed up
Of being told lies
Of being sold myths
Of how to improve my life

Think positive, they said
Never doubt
If you feel a negative emotion
Do all you can to drive it out

You need to socialise more
To put yourself out there
It’s all your own fault
That you don’t have any friends

You need to toughen up
Learn to be more resilient
Push yourself harder
You lack the necessary discipline

But I realised
That in quietness, I find strength
To constantly socialise
Drains my inner wealth

I found that negative emotions
Cannot just be ignored
The idea of suppressing them
Was seriously flawed

They are not to be wallowed in
But they must be felt
You must learn from what they’re saying
Before letting them drain out

Resilience is not just about
Pushing on through
It’s progressing whilst respecting your limits
And getting help when you need to

For so long
I drowned in self-blame
Suffered the consequences
Of doing things the wrong way

Now I know the truth
And am being led by my God
It is now that I am seeing
Myself overcome